This Is Not A Discarded ‘Monty Python’ Sketch

Cleese en route to the Dubious Goals Panel.

A tipster points us to this odd bulletin from something called the Dubious Goals Panel. No, really. This in an actual panel, or committee, convened by the Barclays Premier League, apparently to ensure that goals—deflected ones, in-the-mixer tallies, own goals etc.—are credited to their proper source for the official record.

At least that’s our understanding of it. Who knew there were so many ‘dubious goals’ in soccer? The report covers 19 of them in two months of Premier League action. And here we thought it was a simple game.

Also, what’s up with the “…has been confirmed as a John Carew goal” versus “…has in fact been confirmed as a James Beattie goal” verbiage distinction?” Anyone with insight here, please advise.

But that name—’Dubious Goals Panel.’ A friend of the site points out it’s a bit “Ministry of Silly Walks.” Yes, or maybe it was a byproduct of the sessions that created this one:

“Aristotle very much the man in form.”

Sure, but would he be the best qualified to determine the certainty of a given goal? Not for us to say, but you wouldn’t want George “Matter Does Not Exist” Berkeley for the job, that much we can tell you*.

*Philosophy-major humor.

//Ducks tomatoes fired toward head.

2 comments on “This Is Not A Discarded ‘Monty Python’ Sketch

  1. OMATV says:

    Marx was right, by the way. Clearly offside on the winning goal.

  2. […] keeper Faryd Mondragon. The official ruling was an own goal, but if MLS had a Dubious Goals Panel (as the EPL amusingly dubs its committee on these things), we believe they’d give the tally to Richards. (They still […]

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