World Cup Hangover: England

There’s still one game left, and we could hardly have asked for a better pairing for the final, but unless you’re from the Netherlands or Spain, you’re probably just as focused on the end being very near as you are on Sunday’s classic matchup.

So as we watch it all slip away again, not to return until 2014 (or 2012 qualifying, anyway) let’s look back at some of the teams at South Africa 2010.

First up, England:

Everyone in that nation wishes they had access to the alternate universe where this is what actually happened in that first game against the U.S.:

(Capello smiling was a nice touch)

But since they don’t, they’ve had to console themselves with laughter—to ward off the tears.

Here’s a sampling, courtesy of Backpost’s Yorkshire Correspondent, Tim:

“OXO [UK food company] is bringing out a new stock cube [beef bullion]. It’s white with a red cross and will be called:


“The Meteorological Office has issued severe flood warnings for the north of England. This is thought to have been issued due to everybody in Scotland p***ing themselves laughing!”

“England is to change its shirts for the next game. The Three Lions will be replaced with Three Tampons to represent the worst period it’s ever had.”

“Why did the chicken cross the road? According to FIFA, it didn’t!”

“The English squad has decided to fly into Glasgow to receive a heroes welcome!”

David Blaine is said to be gutted because his record of doing eff all in a box for 42 days has been broken by Wayne Rooney.”

“No wonder Rooney’s been scoring in training, as Capello claims. He’s been playing against England’s defense.”

In the jungle, South African jungle

Three lions sleep tonight

Cos in the morning, the early morning

They have to catch a flight

A win no way, a win no way

A win no way, a win no way

Have you heard any others? Share them in the comments.


2 comments on “World Cup Hangover: England

  1. Peter Reynolds says:

    The World Cup has been fantastic. Now I understand why I hate English football.

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