Monday Morning Re-Start: BPFL Woes, Premier League, MLS, and Yanks Abroad

Good morning, people. It was a busy weekend; let’s get right to it.

We’ll start with the good: three Americans abroad found the back of the net for their respective clubs this weekend, as Herculez Gomez scored in Estudiantes Tecos’ 2-1 win over Pachuca, DaMarcus Beasley got his first goal in Mexico to help Puebla knock off Pumas 2-1, and Jozy Altidore scored two goals in his first start to lead AZ Alkmaar to a 4-0 romp over NEC Nijmigen in the Dutch Eredivisie.

Here is Altidore’s first goal:

And his second, with some Charmin-soft defending:

Now, the bad: The Premier League fantasy site continues to be buggy on an aneurysm-producing level.

It was inaccessible (again) at times over the weekend, it (still) doesn’t have our head-to-head fixtures or results up, and it (remains) maddeningly slow to update points.

And there might be something else afoot in the BPFL, according to the Colorado Keeper. We recommend taking a minute to read his impassioned plea. Take it away, CK:

Conspiracy theories abound.  First, the website is the biggest piece of s*** I have ever seen.  Are the Brits this far behind us in gambling sophistication? How can this be? I go there and bet on random golf matches in between pints—minor league tours where I get odds on some guy I never heard of.

I run a small company, and we have situations like “You know what, no one is going to order the squishy model brain, so we can show it on our website even though we don’t have it in stock yet.” We’re usually pretty safe on this one.

Did people at the Barclay’s site go, “I say, Clive, we keep getting these millions of people signing up for that fantasy thing you suggested last week, but they probably don’t expect anything to come of it, do they?”

I once was in a pool called the MGCTWP. Acronyms are funny things, and you all can try to sort that one out for yourself [Leave guesses in the comments—Ed.].

Anyway, here I am, about two weeks ago, minding my own business when I’m presented with a fantastic opportunity to join a new fantasy pool. Did I mention it would be facilitated by a real website? My brother, aka Our Man at the Valley, generously says to just let him know how he can be of help to me in figuring out my team. I haven’t followed the EPL closely for years. OMATV tells me to beware of some defender that the computer chose for me last week. So I switch him out. Said defender gets a clean sheet, and fulfills some other metric, and I lose out on 6 points. Okay, fine.

So this week I pay a bit more attention to what happened in Week 1, and I decide to start some guy named Ivan next to my main man, Kevin Davies. Shortly after, I get a text from aforementioned brother/commish: “Not sure this is the week to start them both.” For some reason, I take his advice and switch out Ivan. Not only that, but because of this dire warning, I switch out my captain’s band from Davies. We’re talking double digits this week.

Anyway, I’d just like to thank you all for involving me in this. I now get up at 5:30 on Saturday mornings to check the, see who is doing what, then switch over to the Premier League site to see if I started the guy who just crossed the ball for Wolves—only to be unable to access my team. Good times.

Looking forward to Week 8, when I can finally tell what my record is.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Colorado Keeper!

More bad: Even the Premier League games themselves were a little underwhelming this week. Arsenal turned in a listless performance in a 2-0 loss to Liverpool, Swansea and Wigan duked it out to a goalless draw, and notoriously slow-starting Everton dropped their season opener, at home, to promotion side QPR, falling 1-0.

The Chelsea–West Brom game had some intrigue as the Blues had to battle back to win it 2-1, and this afternoon (U.S. time) Manchester United hosts Tottenham in the season-opener for Spurs—and possibly a last-ditch chance for the Colorado Keeper to undo some of the damage done by his brother’s misinformation campaign.

Finally, there was the occasionally ugly: MLS saw an overflow of red cards and some physical play, but also a successful debut for Ireland international Robbie Keane, some cracking goals, a rearranging of the playoff race, and a team on the rise in Kansas City. Read all about it here.


One comment on “Monday Morning Re-Start: BPFL Woes, Premier League, MLS, and Yanks Abroad

  1. Useful Shot, That says:

    The only really disappointing thing about the inability to show league standings is that you are all deprived of the ability to witness The Useful Shots dominance.

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