It was another gut-wrenching week in the Backpost Fantasy League for co-commissioner MGlo, who lost a bitter derby match to first-place coloradokeeper. Here he is with every gory detail:
I had him! I !@#$% had him!! After getting back to winning ways two weeks ago, I was all set to take on league-leader coloradokeeper. I spent Friday night going over squad sheets and injury reports, and was playing around with different transfers. I ultimately decided to play my wildcard, something I was loath to do, as I know I will be wishing for it in the second half of the season when postponed games are made up and teams will play twice in the same Gameweek.
My original strategy was to match colorado’s team player-for-player except one. I then came to my senses and decided to man up and just go for it.
Watching and following the games on TV and the web on Saturday, I was hanging in there. When Emanuel Adebayor stepped up to take his penalty I was more than excited. Less so when I heard him miss, and only slightly more so when he scored off the rebound. I knew those 2 points for the miss would come back to haunt me. Then Rio Ferdinand was called for a controversial penalty against Newcastle, which both Ian Darke and Steve McManaman (and “everyone in the ground but the linesman,” according to Alex Ferguson) thought was the wrong decision.
All game long those two announcers were saying how my Ryan Taylor is The Man at dead ball situations—but not for this one: The keeper’s Demba Ba stepped up to slot home for a goal and an additional 2 Bonus points. Yup, this was going just great. I did however, finish the day 37-34 ahead and was somewhat confident going into Sunday’s two matches.
I needed Liverpool to score and Swansea to get a clean sheet. Now, you might say, “But that’s exactly what happened. How did you not win?”
Allow me to tell you. I woke up Sunday, checked my phone and saw the Swans at 0-0 with Aston Villa after 75 minutes. A smile spread across my face—only to be turned upside down when I saw Scott Sinclair was booked (his 3 became a 1), and Angel Rangel was hurt and subbed off after 27 minutes (his score, which would have been a minimum of 6, was reduced to 1). Another 7 points lost.
In the other match, Manchester City scored via Vincent Kompany’s back! Are you kidding me? His back?! He went up for a corner, flicked his head, missed the ball, which hit his back, and went into the corner of the Liverpool net.
Six points plus 3 Bonus and that’s all she wrote. I guess it’s better to be lucky than good. Probably how coloradokeeper became one seventh of a mayor! Oh and I never fell asleep on a date! (We have no idea what that means, either.—Ed.)
Before we get to the Performance of the Week and the Unlucky Loser, this just in from the coloradokeeper:
I applaud MGlo for his effort this past weekend. He kept it close. He rolled the dice on Swansea, and was right except for his man being pulled after 25 minutes. I survived, even though I suffered flashbacks and PTSD of BarryEchtman putting in own goals against me [The keeper really was a keeper in his younger days—Ed.] when JoleonLescott did it to Man City.
The view looks good from the top of the table!
Okay, back to the commissioner’s report:
Performance of the Week: This week’s award goes to El nino, who has won six of his last seven matches. The Torres tribute team was led by Captain Adebayor’s 28 points. His other two strikers, Javier Hernandez and Daniel Sturridge, also came up big, chipping in 9 and 8 points, respectively, and Petr Cech earned 7 points from a clean sheet and thre saves.
Unlucky Loser:Taeguk Warriors took the honors this week, losing 57–54 to tango. The Warriors point total was good enough to beat 34 other teams.
Thank you, MGlo, and the still unbeaten coloradokeeper (11 wins, 1 draw). Good luck this week, everyone, and don’t forget to set your lineups tonight.