Co-Commissioner MGlo has burst into the room, wild-eyed, arms outstretched, clutching a smoking hunk of recap at the end of a pair of tongs.
He’s covering Weeks 6 and 7. Have at it, MGlo!
Thankfully, there is an international break this week. It will allow me to recover from my Week 7 defeat to I am Liverpool (my son) in the local derby.
It was not so much the defeat as the ‘taking the piss’ by the youngster that was tough to handle. While he is a poor loser, he is a worse winner, and having to put up with the constant ‘mickey taking’ has me considering sending him away to school (or just away period)!
After Week 6, on the other hand, I was singing “I feel good,” having easily defeated Clever and Witty, who was neither. His use of his wildcard (so early in the season?) threw up an early obstacle, but in the end I prevailed with a 43-27 victory. The win was my sixth straight and left me alone at the top of the table with an unblemished record. I moved 3 points clear of reigning Champions Rise* of FC Hammer, who were beaten at the Nearpost (you can’t let that happen son, just ask any keeper!). Disgruntled Numpties remained third, despite their second straight loss, while Colorado Keeper pulled level on points by nearly doubling up The Losers, who were in a three-way tie for the fifth spot with Abes Army and the aforementioned Witty.
Performance of The Week: The Week 6 award goes, somewhat randomly, to Abes Army, who racked up a whopping 71 points thanks to captain Luis Suarez’s 40 points! While he had the top score for the week, you have to wonder why Suarez was still in the team. Surely with all Liverpool’s problems, you might want to bring in someone who has been scoring regularly. But I guess you can’t argue with success!
Unlucky Loser: Disgruntled Numpties took this award with 56 points, better than eight other teams.
In Gameweek 7, my undoing was Chelsea failing to keep a clean sheet against lowly Norwich, who had scored only once away from Carrow Road this season. That and Kevin Nolan’s wastefulness in front of goal. As a result I had to put up with I Am Liverpool’s version of Queen’s ‘We Are the Champions’ for three days! Does anyone know if Oakdale Military Academy is still in existence? But I digress.
The other local derby was between third-place Placed Disgruntled Numpties and fourth-place Colorado Keeper. The disgruntled one came out on top with a 64-48 victory. Thanks to shared DNA, their teams were not much different and the match turned on very little. Afterward, the Numpties manager claimed “it was good to get some revenge from last year.” Not exactly the Old Firm but … exciting nonetheless.
There was no change at the top of the table. My Old27m squad now share the lead with FC Hammer on 18 points. The Numpties are 3 points back in third, while the Keeper, The Losers, and the never changing Abes Army are level on 12 points.
Performance Of The Week: Thanks to just three players, Disgruntled Numpties was able to win this award. Captain Fernando Torres had a goal, an assist and 3 Bonus Points, while Johnny Evans had a goal, a clean sheet and 2 Bonus Points. Pavel Pogrebnyak chipped in a goal and 2 Bonus Points and the three combined for 46 of the Numpties 64 points.
Unlucky Loser: This award goes to Average who, coincidentally, was better than exactly 7 teams.
Asleep At The Wheel: Prison Mike is a repeat offender. Three dead guys, an injured captain and £5.5 in the bank just won’t do, son.
Match Of The Week: Disgruntled Numpties v my Old27m. This derby goes back to when Terry Bradshaw was my quarterback in the ‘other’ fantasy football league.
Thanks MGlo. Don’t forget to set your teams everyone, and good luck.