Mick McCarthy’s Greatest Hits

Following a 5-1 loss to West Brom on Sunday, relegation-threatened Wolverhampton Wanderers dismissed coach Mick McCarthy, ending his term at the club after five-and-a-half years.

McCarthy took the Wolves job in the summer of 2006, when they were in the Championship, and, according to ESPN, promised promotion to the Premier League within three years. He delivered in April 2009, when Wolves defeated Queens Park Rangers 1-0 to clinch a berth in the top flight. They finished 15th in their first season in the Premiership, and last year, they staved off relegation on the last day of the season, when Stephen Hunt scored against Blackburn with three minutes to play.

But apart from the thrilling relegation and promotion fights, McCarthy was at his best when delivering post- and pre-match soundbites. Here’s a sampling of his best work in that department:

• [When asked for his reaction to Wolves’ position following their 2-0 win over Fulham early this season] “My reaction: bothered. I’ll tell you what I don’t like: we start bottom every year, don’t we? By alphabetical order. It’s nice to be top after two games.”

• “Matt Jarvis for England’? Yes, I heard those chants. It’s when they sing ‘Mick McCarthy is a big-nose wanker’ that I don’t hear the crowd.

• [On players using Twitter] “They have to be careful what they say on it about the club and its policies. If they put a team selection up—which I’m sure some disgruntled numpty will at some stage—they will be in trouble”

• [After a tough 1-0 win over Spurs in 2009] “Marcus Hahnemann’s not been diving around making saves everywhere. [It was] really good stuff at times from Spurs but Marcus made one really good save and no, we haven’t been mullered. They’ve got to work like that every game. If we have passengers we’re knackered.” [We consulted experts in linguistics to break that one down, here.]

• “No regrets. None at all. My only regret is that we went out on penalties. That’s my only regret. But no, no regrets.”

And for the big finish…

[Here’s McCarthy after being asked what he thought of the own goal Wolves conceded in the first minute of a game against Reading in 2009] “Fucking abysmal, that was what I fucking thought of it. C’mon, let’s get to it, I’m trying my best here. What did I make of it? I thought it was the best bit of fucking football I’ve seen in a long time. Do me a favour. It was a crap start to a game. There you have it, can you print all that? Fucking rubbish, absolute tosh. Drivel. Shite. Bullshit. That’s what I thought of it. Did that help? I’m quite pleased, apart from the fact that’s given them the poxy result, I’m fucking livid about it – of course I am. So, there you have it.”

We’re gonna miss that guy.

Dempsey Scores Two in Fulham’s Europa League Opener

U.S. midfielder Clint Dempsey buried a pair of headers to lead Fulham to a 3-0 win over Ukrainian side Dnipro in first leg of their Europa League play-in series last night at Craven Cottage.

Check out the goals here:

Deuce and Fulham are back in action on Sunday, traveling to Wolverhampton to take on Wolves and manager Mick McCarthy, who will look to keep any “disgruntled numpties” in check with a second straight win after beating Blackburn 2-1 last weekend.

Your Move, Holloway

Last season, Wolves manager Mick McCarthy took home the honors for top quote in the Premiership, and it wasn’t even close. See here and here for just two examples of his postgame bon mots. He was the Tennyson of the Touchline in 2009-10.

This year, the promotion of Blackpool and its gabby manager Ian Holloway held out the promise of a two-horse race for the title. Some observers even predicted Holloway would run away with it, and he has gotten off to a strong start with last week’s “phantasmagorical” quote.

But this week, McCarthy served notice that he (literally) would not go quietly, offering up this gem to explain his selective hearing on the sidelines:

Matt Jarvis for England? Yes, I heard those chants. It’s when they sing ‘Mick McCarthy is a big-nose w@nker’ that I don’t hear the crowd.”

He’s back!

And still champ until someone knocks him off.

Tip of the hat to reader Old 27, who has the strength of 10 men.