Lionel Messi Couldn’t Do this If He Tried

This clip, origin unknown, shows an attacker advancing down an unkempt pitch and putting a shot on frame—literally and repeatedly on frame: The ball hits the woodwork four times, yet somehow stays out of the net.

Take a look:

We enjoyed how the one fan in the crowd shouted “Goal!” each time the ball hit the upright, and one for good measure.

And yet … no goal.

Greatest Misses: “What Just Happened?” Edition

This clip comes from the Chinese league, during a game between Shanghai Shenua and Tianjin Teda, and you’ll need to watch it twice to figure out how the hell the ball stayed out of the net.

Serbian attacker Vladimir Jovancic pounces on the rebound of a teammate’s shot off the post. On his first attempt, from about 18 inches out, his right foot flicks over the ball and unintentionally pulls it back sharply against his left leg.

It ricochets from there off the post, but then falls perfectly for him to sweep into the wide-open goal. He attempts to do just that, but something—a defender’s boot? An invisible force field?—spins the ball up and over the crossbar.

Take a look:

Shanghai Shenua, by the way—the team in blue above—is the current home of both Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba.

Greatest Misses: Penalty Edition

You may have seen this elsewhere, but it’s a shout-it-from-the-rooftops level flub, so we’re going with it here. That, and it’s the end of a day-job heavy Friday.

Enjoy the weekend everyone, don’t forget to set your BPFL lineups, and don’t pull a Sayoud out there. (The kick—or attempted kick—below is by Amir Sayoud, an Algerian playing in the Egyptian Cup. As you’ll see, it’s terrible enough to generate a new phrase, a synonym for “epic fail.”):

We’re Pretty Sure this Is A Record: Five Misses in 20 Seconds

We’re going outside our jurisdiction to bring you this highlight from a Greek second division game between Veria and Levadiakos.

Behold, as Veria (we think) has five clear chances in a 20-second span, clanging three of them off the woodwork and missing the other two:

Next up, Veria players let loose at the broad side of a barn in training.

(We also enjoyed how the keeper comes out and berates his backline after the deluge passes. He should have been kissing his goalposts.)